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Mantriji 'Mating' Mein Hain !

31 May

A Mantralaya ( don’t ask me which one – in any case, if you have been to one, you have been to all ).

The peon eyed me from the other side of the glass door. I, from this side. Since no peon opens the door once he is confirmed as a karamchari, he, too, didn’t. I pushed the door. I was in. He wasn’t upset. Since no peon is upset after he is confirmed as a karamchari.

YoursTruly: Mantriji hain ?

Peon: Nahi Hain !

YoursTruly: Kahan hain ?

Peon: Mating mein !

YoursTruly: Kya kaha ?

Peon: kaha na mating mein !

YoursTruly: Par mujhe milna tha ?

Peon: Mating mein kai logon ko milna

tha !

YoursTruly: Meri appointment thi ?

Peon: Mating ki bhi appointment thi !

YoursTruly:Yeh sab kuch toh ghar mein

hota hai ?

Peon: Kyun shak karte ho! hall mein chal

rahi hai mating !

YoursTruly: Kabse ?

Peon: Ab mating hai ! ek ghanta toh

chalegi !

YoursTruly: Dekh sakta hun ?

Peon: Darwaza andhar se bandh hai !

YoursTruly: Kaun, kaun hai andhar ?

Peon: Kuch aadmi hai; kuch aurat hain !

YoursTruly: Roz aise hi hota hai ?

Peon: Kai bar din mein chaar chaar

mating hoti hai !

YoursTruly: Mantriji ki patni ko nahi

pata ?

Peon: Ghar ki baat hai ! Bataane wali kya

baat hai !

YoursTruly: Mantriji ke private

secretary kahan hain ?

Peon:Whobhi mating mein hai ?

YoursTruly: Who kya karte hain

andhar?

Peon: Jo kuch mating mein hota hai, note

karte hain !

YoursTruly: Matlab, dekhte rehte hain ?

Peon: Batate bhi rehte hain kya, kaise

karna hai, kya kehna hai ?

YoursTruly: Mantriji karte bhi hain,

kehte bhi hain ? ?

Peon: Aap samjahdaar hain ! Bina kahe

koi kaise kuch kare !

YoursTruly: Thak jaate honge Mantriji ?

Peon: Sahi farmaya, apne ! Mating se

kaun nahi thakta !

YoursTruly:Yeh sab likh sakte hain naa

hum ?

Peon: Aap sahib log hain ! Likh dijiye

Mantriji mating mein thy !

YoursTruly: Agar yeh pata chal jaata kis

kis se ?

Peon: Likh dijiye, Mantralaya ke afsaron

se !

YoursTruly: Mantriji aur afsaron mein

yeh sab chalta hai ?

Peon: Samay se pehle aur bhagya se

zyada kisko kya milta hai ?

YoursTruly: Sach mein samay badal

gaya hai ?

Peon: Hamare bhi toh bhagya badle hain !

YoursTruly: Mantriji, afsar log, private

secretary aur aap bhi ?

Peon: hum hi andhar jaa sakte hain jab

mating ho rahi hoti hai !

YoursTruly: Sab Mantriji ki hi maante

honge ?

Peon: Bilkul ! Unko khush rakhna zaroori

hai sahib !

YoursTruly:Waise sab kuch hindi mein

hi hota hoga ?

Peon: Beech beech mein angrezi mein

bhi ?

YoursTruly: Acha hum phir intezaar

karte hain ?

Peon:Apse bhi mating ko kaha tha aaj ?

YoursTruly: Kaha toh tha ki aa jaana ?

Peon: Phir mating kar ki hi jayeyega !

YoursTruly: Aur jo sab waiting room

mein baithe hain ?

Peon: Sab mating kar ki hi jayeinge !

YoursTruly: Kuch ladies bhi toh baithee

hain ?

Peon:Whobhi mating ke liye aayee hain

YoursTruly: Kuch toh teen-chaar ki

team mein aayein hain ?

Peon: Mantri ji unke saath bhi mating

kareinge ?

YoursTruly: Matlab ek saath sab ke

saath ?

Peon: Mantriji ko kaafi anubhav hai !

YoursTruly:Aur private secretary yahan

bhi batate rehtein hain ?

Peon: Unka kaam hai bhai ! woh hi fix

karte hain kahan kya hoga !

YoursTruly: Saara Mantralaya issi mein

vyast lagta hai ?

Peon: Humse puchiye mating se toh

Mantralaya chalta hai !

YoursTruly: Aur kisi ko kaan-o-kaan

khabar nahi hui aaj tak ?

Peon: Hum khabar lagne nahi dete ! Jab

tak Mantriji naa kahein !

YoursTruly: Mantriji kab kehtein hain

keh do ?

Peon: Jab unhe kisi se mating nahi karni

hoti ?

YoursTruly: Aisa karne se theek karte

hain ?

Peon: Unki patni bhi yeh kehti rehti hain ?

YoursTruly: Kya ?

Peon: Jo mangta hai mating, usi se kyun

kar leto ho mating ?

YoursTruly: Mantriji se keh dena aaya

tha ?

Peon: Theek sahib, koi sandesh ho ?

YoursTruly: Yeh bhi, ki hum 120 crore

kyun hain !!

(On reachingoffice, the Editor: Did the

MEETING go well ?

YoursTruly: No Sir ! His MATING

was going so very well !!)

(Above is a Political Satire by Aroon Sharma. This is from SME World Magazine (JAN 2011). Original Copyrights with the publisher and writer.)

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Looking for the right excuse

26 May

Looking for the right excuse

This is the first warning sign that a project is in trouble. Sometimes it even begins before the project does.

Quietly, our subconscious starts looking around for an excuse, deniability and someone to blame. It gives us confidence and peace of mind. [It's much easier to be calm when the police car appears in your rear view mirror if you have an excuse handy.]

Amazingly, we often look for the excuse before we even accept the project. We say to ourselves, "well, I can start this, and if it doesn’t work perfectly, I can point out it was the …" Then, as the team ramps up, bosses appear and events occur (or not), we continually add to and refine our excuse list, reminding ourselves of all the factors that were out of our control. Decades ago, when I used to sell by phone, I often found myself describing why I was unable to close this particular sale–and realized I was articulating these reasons while the phone was still ringing.

People who have a built-in all-purpose excuse (middle child syndrom, wrong astrology sign, some slight at the hands of the system long ago) often end up failing–they have an excuse ready to go, so it’s easier to back off when the going is rough.

Here’s an alternative to the excuse-driven life: What happens if you relentlessly avoid looking for excuses at all?

Instead of seeking excuses, the successful project is filled with people who are obsessed with avoiding excuses. If you relentlessly work to avoid opportunities to use your ability to blame, you may never actually need to blame anyone. If you’re not pulled over by the cop, no need to blame the speedometer, right?

(Courtesy: Seth Godin’s blog. No doubt all his posts are absolutely realistic and make you think hard about realities of life, businsess, work, ethics, thinking, human nature, decision making, responsibility, ability and various other aspects. This one about excuses makes you truly go back to your earlier life and think when you must have created excuses and used them to hide your failures and avoiding responsibilities)

Dhobi Ghat – A Blurred Memory of Unfinished Events

24 Jan

Dhobi Ghat doesn’t blow your mind off, nor does it make you say the “Awesome” word at the end of the movie
But it does make you think for a while after you cross the “Exit” door. There is no hidden message in the movie. DG is like a lullaby that fails to make you sleep

Dhobi Ghat, not at all for the masses. Agreed there are some funny moments here and there, but its definitely not an awesome movie. Its a narration of 4 different lives, which do not culminate at a point, but stand in their own paths, waiting for something..

Movie doesn’t leave a mark in your mind, after its over, very unlike other Amir movies. Kiran Rao, could have done a better job. Movie lacks the appeal. Background score remains an anonymous and sleeping beauty that doesn’t hit your ears. At times, it seems that the movie has become very silent, with silent moments also rendered, music-less

Characters of Amir, an artist; Prateik, a dhobi+rat killer+wannabe actor; and Monica, a banker on sabbatical. Do they really gel together? NO… They do not. They seem rather absurdly distinct and disconnected. With four stories, running their own course and without no reason, why they should culminate, it seems rather odd for the audience to figure out if there is going to be something crucial happening as the movie progresses.

Almost all the characters, in the movie are loners. Including the ones, who are shown to be socializing.

I personally felt that almost half the scenes in the movie were unfinished, and NOT at all in a way where audience can think of finishing them. The movie has nice cinematography and nice views of real mumbai (as we love to call it). Yasmeen is also an unfinished part, although she is shown to have died after having come to mumbai, but that doesn’t really mean the part was finished.

In the end, Amir’s character is shown to be just a wanderlust, with no idea what exactly to choose between going to home and choosing a new place to stay. His family in Australia is just another loose end. Prateik just ends up moving from one place to another, still wanting to chase the girl who is confused. Monica ends up trying to understand whether she loves or doesn’t love Amir. Yasmeen’s story makes Amir, feel bad, but about what? Loneliness?

ALthough so many questions remain unanswered, still at the end, you are not left with a mark that “Oh is this Mumbai?”, or “IS this how the life in mumbai would be?”

Dhobi Ghat is a noteworthy try by Kiran rao, to try and make a not-for-the-masses, art-type movie. I would not say its a must watch, but it surely is a good watch.

When You Accept Yourself and Take a Leap Of Faith

11 Aug

I Am What I Am.

Be What You Are

image

99.99% of us have been taught this, bombarded with these statements since childhood.

What they have forgotten to tell us is about what to do when you want to incorporate this in your life, how to do it, and what are the consequences of doing what you want to

 

You will know this by not reading books, or talking to people.

You will know this only by Accepting Yourself.

 

I accepted myself. I used to say, I am different from others. When I asked myself what I am doing to make myself worthy of saying this, I had no answer

And then not just for the bloody sake of answer for this question, I took a leap of faith

 

Almost 2 months back, I was spending my whole day at Crosswords reading AGK’s Ten Much and my mind changed.

First question: Why I am I sitting at crosswords whole day? Don’t I have work? Yes I did. But I did not know what to do with that work. Because I did not like what I did.

The next day too I did the same. It was 15th of June and I made up something in my mind. I had a job and it was gonna pay me well, if I stuck to it

 

Before than let me tell you what I think, a/c to my perception is right and wrong

Right: Something you do, that makes sense in the short term as well as long term and still manages to keep you happy

Wrong: Something you do, that may not make sense, and may keep you happy in short term, but long term, you are doubtful about it

 

So then I took up a very important decision of my life. To choose between being Right and Wrong. I Quit that job and made a call to the founder of my company, that I did “it”.

 

You know what is difficult? To become a variable that is the part of the equation and the solution too. When you are ready, you become both and start the search for yourself.

 

A leap of faith is what is required, when you start believing in yourself. I work now for Redquanta and its absolutely, being working for myself. Leap of faith, may not always pay off and may have its own consequences. Consequences, like being detached from friends, not able to give time to family, meet personal chores, forget what day it is, dream about work work work… and a day that starts at 7 a.m. and ends at may be 1 a.m but being happy about it.

 

So this leap of faith, seems to have its own consequences. Here I am on this blog after almost 2 months. Last two months have passed like a jiffy, with so much accomplished, learnt, experienced, that I would never have, had I stayed in that job for  years.

 

Life gives you chances and opportunities. Take it. How mine happened, will talk about that later. This post is a result of partially satisfied mind, after sending off a major deliverable to our client. Similar day may not be possible tomorrow again.

 

As I said, accepting yourself is the most difficult challenge. Then each challenge thereafter is a learning.

Accept Yourself

11 Aug

Unanswered questions:

You may be on the right track but you may not be towards the right destination.

How do you know what you are doing is right or wrong?

What is it that hints you to change?

Which successful person in this world who has not been subject to criticism?

Everyone has. Criticism in not what is wrong nor is being wrongly crticised. What is wrong is that one not taking efforts to find out why one is being crticised and making peace with it

 

Accept yourself.

You may not be always right, nor you may be wrong always. But then you have to decide between wanting to be happy being wrong AND wanting to be unhappy being right.

Mind you the right and wrong here are just the perceptions and not the actual deeds. Do the right deeds, but the perceptions others may have may be of wrong ones.

 

They say find the right path towards success. What I have seen in past few months tells me there is nothing like right path. You make your own path, and walk on it. And if you can, take along others too, of course with an intention to share it.

 

Biggest obstacle in accepting yourself : YOU

You have to let go of the stickiness of external perceptions, logic, measurement base. You may want to change, but you yourself set limits and rules for yourself.

Break them.

There will be consequences.

Face them. Thats what you are supposed to do.

 

If being happy means, paying a one time or recurring cost in terms of money, or association, or friends, or luxury… then do it.

 

Biggest challenge in life is not making money, or rising to success.

Biggest challenge in life is Accepting yourself.

Japan Kaizen Study Tour

17 Apr

Under this head, I will keep posting some of my experiences that I had during my tour to japan.

This tour was scheduled starting from March 14th (departure from India) till 26th March (fly back from japan)

FLight that we took was Thai Airways. This was the first time i was travelling abroad and was my first international flight experience. Quality wise the flight can be rated at 6.5/10. Food was excellent and I appreciate the service of the crew despite huge number of passengers.

We had a connected flight from Mumbai to Bangkok  which took almost 6 hours and another from bangkok to Narita (Japan) airport which took around 4 hours. I hope I am correct about timings. We spent around 3 hours at the Bangkok ariport in between the flights.

Bangkok Airport, named as Swarnabhumi International Airport- has a lot of innovative designs. Looking from outside it would look like a DNA stucture replicated on four sides.

Some of the inside pics at Bangkok airport.

Back to blogging

12 Apr

I have been inactive so long here, that I had forgotten I had this blog..

Partly this was because, I think I was too busy in my MBA life and trying to make sense out of it. I completely ignored the fact it is necessary to retain knowledge that gets constantly created in the mind and till date we have not found the way to make sure we don’t forget the things we create in our minds