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Something for a married couple

8 Aug

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell
you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I
didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her
know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised
the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why?  I avoided her question. This
made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and
shouted at me, you are not a man!   That night, we
didn¢t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she
wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could h ardly give her a satisfactory answer; she
had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I
did’nt love her anymore.I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.  The
woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger.  I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I
had said for I loved Dew so dearly.  Finally she cried
loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her
writing something at the table. I did’nt have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table
writing.  I just did not care so I turned over and was
asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s
notice before the divorce.  She requested that in that
one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as
possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his
exams in a months time and she did’nt want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me.  But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out
bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I
carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever
morning.  I thought she was going crazy.   Just to
make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.
I told Dew ab out my wife s divorce conditions. She
laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed.  So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don¢t tell
our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to
wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of
her blouse. I realized that I hadn¢t looked at this
woman carefully for a long time. I realised she was
not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her
face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
toll on her.  For a minute I wondered what I had done
to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning.  This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me.   On the fifth
and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this.   It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried
on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown
bigger.  I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain and
bitter ness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time
to carry mum out.   To him, seeing his father carrying
his mother out had become an essential part of his
life.  My wife gestured to our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I
was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.
I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her
body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.   On the last
day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school.
I held her tightly and said, I had’nt noticed that our
life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afra id any delay would
make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew
opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do
not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my
forehead.  Do you have a fever? She said.  I moved her
hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said,  I won’t
divorce.  My marriage life was boring probably because
she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not
because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I
realise that since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do
us apart.  Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me
a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into
tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of
flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and
wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter
in a relationship.  It is not the mansion, the car,
property , the money in the bank,  blah..blah.. blah. 
These create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves.  So find time
to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things
for each other that build intimacy.  Do have a real happy marriage!