A Mantralaya ( don’t ask me which one – in any case, if you have been to one, you have been to all ).
The peon eyed me from the other side of the glass door. I, from this side. Since no peon opens the door once he is confirmed as a karamchari, he, too, didn’t. I pushed the door. I was in. He wasn’t upset. Since no peon is upset after he is confirmed as a karamchari.
YoursTruly: Mantriji hain ?
Peon: Nahi Hain !
YoursTruly: Kahan hain ?
Peon: Mating mein !
YoursTruly: Kya kaha ?
Peon: kaha na mating mein !
YoursTruly: Par mujhe milna tha ?
Peon: Mating mein kai logon ko milna
tha !
YoursTruly: Meri appointment thi ?
Peon: Mating ki bhi appointment thi !
YoursTruly:Yeh sab kuch toh ghar mein
hota hai ?
Peon: Kyun shak karte ho! hall mein chal
rahi hai mating !
YoursTruly: Kabse ?
Peon: Ab mating hai ! ek ghanta toh
chalegi !
YoursTruly: Dekh sakta hun ?
Peon: Darwaza andhar se bandh hai !
YoursTruly: Kaun, kaun hai andhar ?
Peon: Kuch aadmi hai; kuch aurat hain !
YoursTruly: Roz aise hi hota hai ?
Peon: Kai bar din mein chaar chaar
mating hoti hai !
YoursTruly: Mantriji ki patni ko nahi
pata ?
Peon: Ghar ki baat hai ! Bataane wali kya
baat hai !
YoursTruly: Mantriji ke private
secretary kahan hain ?
Peon:Whobhi mating mein hai ?
YoursTruly: Who kya karte hain
andhar?
Peon: Jo kuch mating mein hota hai, note
karte hain !
YoursTruly: Matlab, dekhte rehte hain ?
Peon: Batate bhi rehte hain kya, kaise
karna hai, kya kehna hai ?
YoursTruly: Mantriji karte bhi hain,
kehte bhi hain ? ?
Peon: Aap samjahdaar hain ! Bina kahe
koi kaise kuch kare !
YoursTruly: Thak jaate honge Mantriji ?
Peon: Sahi farmaya, apne ! Mating se
kaun nahi thakta !
YoursTruly:Yeh sab likh sakte hain naa
hum ?
Peon: Aap sahib log hain ! Likh dijiye
Mantriji mating mein thy !
YoursTruly: Agar yeh pata chal jaata kis
kis se ?
Peon: Likh dijiye, Mantralaya ke afsaron
se !
YoursTruly: Mantriji aur afsaron mein
yeh sab chalta hai ?
Peon: Samay se pehle aur bhagya se
zyada kisko kya milta hai ?
YoursTruly: Sach mein samay badal
gaya hai ?
Peon: Hamare bhi toh bhagya badle hain !
YoursTruly: Mantriji, afsar log, private
secretary aur aap bhi ?
Peon: hum hi andhar jaa sakte hain jab
mating ho rahi hoti hai !
YoursTruly: Sab Mantriji ki hi maante
honge ?
Peon: Bilkul ! Unko khush rakhna zaroori
hai sahib !
YoursTruly:Waise sab kuch hindi mein
hi hota hoga ?
Peon: Beech beech mein angrezi mein
bhi ?
YoursTruly: Acha hum phir intezaar
karte hain ?
Peon:Apse bhi mating ko kaha tha aaj ?
YoursTruly: Kaha toh tha ki aa jaana ?
Peon: Phir mating kar ki hi jayeyega !
YoursTruly: Aur jo sab waiting room
mein baithe hain ?
Peon: Sab mating kar ki hi jayeinge !
YoursTruly: Kuch ladies bhi toh baithee
hain ?
Peon:Whobhi mating ke liye aayee hain
YoursTruly: Kuch toh teen-chaar ki
team mein aayein hain ?
Peon: Mantri ji unke saath bhi mating
kareinge ?
YoursTruly: Matlab ek saath sab ke
saath ?
Peon: Mantriji ko kaafi anubhav hai !
YoursTruly:Aur private secretary yahan
bhi batate rehtein hain ?
Peon: Unka kaam hai bhai ! woh hi fix
karte hain kahan kya hoga !
YoursTruly: Saara Mantralaya issi mein
vyast lagta hai ?
Peon: Humse puchiye mating se toh
Mantralaya chalta hai !
YoursTruly: Aur kisi ko kaan-o-kaan
khabar nahi hui aaj tak ?
Peon: Hum khabar lagne nahi dete ! Jab
tak Mantriji naa kahein !
YoursTruly: Mantriji kab kehtein hain
keh do ?
Peon: Jab unhe kisi se mating nahi karni
hoti ?
YoursTruly: Aisa karne se theek karte
hain ?
Peon: Unki patni bhi yeh kehti rehti hain ?
YoursTruly: Kya ?
Peon: Jo mangta hai mating, usi se kyun
kar leto ho mating ?
YoursTruly: Mantriji se keh dena aaya
tha ?
Peon: Theek sahib, koi sandesh ho ?
YoursTruly: Yeh bhi, ki hum 120 crore
kyun hain !!
(On reachingoffice, the Editor: Did the
MEETING go well ?
YoursTruly: No Sir ! His MATING
was going so very well !!)
(Above is a Political Satire by Aroon Sharma. This is from SME World Magazine (JAN 2011). Original Copyrights with the publisher and writer.)
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